My sister Deb and I were having a chat about life in general the other day and she told me that a wise man once said, "things are never as easy as they seem!"
I said,” that’s very true."
"Well it was your husband that said it," was her reply.
No one knows the meaning to these words more than he does, as he pulls his new prosthetic leg on daily in an attempt to walk again. It is a slow, sometimes painfully and tedious undertaking and the frustration is obvious.
As I try to understand what he's going through, watching as he does the hard yards, is no help. I try to imagine and can't begin to. Closing my eyes, the closest I get is to think about how it feels to try and write my name as neatly with my left hand as I can with my right. That's hard! Then I imagine that my hand is missing from my wrist, and that there is a foreign object between my wrist and the pen. I have to control it, even though I can't feel it, if I want the pen to make a mark. That's shocking. Now I imagine that I am trying to stand, keep my balance and take a step under the same circumstance. Even imagining this with crutches for support, I want to scream with frustration...because it just seems too difficult to imagine.
And then I look at my husband doing it; small step, after small step. Concentration, frustration, pain! But not ever looking like giving in. That's inspirational!
I know that he knows without a doubt that things are never as easy as they seem. And that doesn't stop him.
As he learns to walk again, we acknowledge that running might be a way off yet, as the truth is - you have to walk before you can run...and that's OK. Because last week he only had one leg to stand on, and this week he has two.
We head back to Sydney on Thursday, and Brendan will get the results of how his last round of chemotherapy has gone. We are hoping when theys are in, learning to walk again will be all he has to focus on.
Life is good and hope is limitless.
You can find more information on Sarcoma Cancer by following this link: sarcoma.